JEDWARD NOW HALF PRICE!*
*Because there’s only one of you.
The sales season is coming to an end, which can mean only one thing: total dreck.
In short, there’s nothing left. Only the most dreadful pieces remain in the stores at a bargain price, and upon realising this I thought,
THIS IS HOW JEDWARD DRESS THEMSELVES.
So here, ladies and gentlemen (in time for Hallowe’en as it happens) is my guide:
HOW TO LOOK JEDWARD USING ONLY REDUCED ITEMS.
First off, any respecting John or Edward will want to look
‘Super sharp Joohhhnnn, that’s right super sharp Edddwwwaaarrrd!’.
To achieve this look you’ll want to get a skinny fit suit.
I found this black little number over at the men’s section of ASOS.com, and at sizes 36” thru’ 44” everyone from the tiniest lucky charm to the podgiest leprechaun can prance about in this shiny jacket.
£ 100.00 £ 60.00 || Link
You’ll want to offset that with the correct trousers - but good luck with that - it’s the SALES remember?
If your size is unavailable, GREAT! Always go for the short leg, that’ll accentuate your gawky look and show off your ANKLES, WOOOO!
£ 36.00 £ 15.00 || Link
No John and/or Edward outfit is complete without some trainers nobody in real life can actually wear, so why not snap up this bargain from Size.co.uk before it gets banished to the realms of deadstock forever.
The adidas x Jeremy Scott collabs can be pretty sweet. Emphasis on can. Sizes go all the way up to 11.
£ 139.99 £ 60.00 || Link
Finally, what are Jedward but their hair? Now, technically this isn’t reduced but it’s already quite cheap so to ensure maximum hold it’s got to be TRESemmé freeze hold, right?
Boots || £ 2.69 || Link
This hairspray was once described to me by an excitable gay man as “OMG THE BEST ONE” and ladies and gentleman, he was right. This is the best one.
TOTAL per Jed-head || £ 137.69 + 1 white shirt + all your dignity.
For the love of Steve.
Undeniably the one guy I have greatest respect for, despite having never met.
I have worked with Apple on an iPod TV commercial aged just 18, as well as a period, during my university years, in their marketing department in motion graphics.
I love the company and obviously was upset at today’s inevitable news.
The fact the most valuable brand in the world chose to run an advert created by a kid in his bedroom will never cease to amaze me. Talk about risky.
Time and trust was invested in me by colleagues via Steve, who handed me an incredible opportunity.
The old tagline perfectly sums up their behaviour; Think Different.
It is remarkable how many other employees, journalists and especially customers feel such compassion towards a CEO of a multinational company.
Simply put, Steve Jobs embodies way more than just a leader. Some have compared him to an idol leading a church.
I have never met Steve Jobs. I certainly would love to shake his hand to actually say ‘thank you’ for the opportunity and for being so inspirational, but really that’s not important.
My understanding (albeit speculative) is that Steve probably feels ‘his work here is done’.
The ‘irreplaceable CEO’ of Apple has outlined a legacy by which those in his organisation totally ‘get it’. I imagine in his words the transition between him and Tim Cook will ‘just work’.
Therefore let’s look on the next months and years with excitement for how Apple will continue to grow, to make cool stuff, rather than naysay and feel gloomy about Steve’s departure.
In his new role as Chairman I hope sincerely that Steve Jobs spends ample time away from his duties and continues to spend time with his family - to whom this remarkable role model, must undoubtedly mean even more.
Why Twitter’s DM beats SMS, IM and BBM (or why I want it that way).
This is not a groundbreaking post; nor is it one about the Backstreet Boys hit “I want it that way”. This is an opinion piece, but I’m hoping you might hear me out.
Twitter’s Direct Message service (DM) seems to confuse many a user. Why would I directly message someone if I can already send them a tweet? In fact, wuuhhh?
Well, unless you’re a spy, all your tweets are public. So one reason you might want to DM is for privacy reasons, like sending some contact details.
However, to me, the benefit of DMs lies in their delivery method. It has dawned on me that Twitter is available to me in more places than any other channel of communication.
Thanks to push notifications, my tweets arrive instantly to all of my devices at the same time. This is useful, as I can also reply from anywhere via the same account.
DM vs SMS
Let’s say I’m in the corner of the office which just doesn’t get that great a signal. My friend texts (SMS) inviting me to the pub … only it doesn’t reach me.
My carrier’s let me down. Sadface. But had he sent a DM, his message appears on my computer and my phone. And because it’s delivered over the Internet it’s the wifi that picked it up. Smiles.
DM vs IM
Instant messaging is such a lame term, right? That aside, it’s still wildly popular.
The good thing about having a conversation via your favourite client is the immediacy of responses, sometimes the ability to share files, and perhaps even seeing that your buddy is (…) typing.
However what an IM requires is exactly what’s annoying about it: immediate responses. It seems the etiquette for IM is if you’ve not had a response, just send another *ping*, -pop-, woop or badda-bum.
Distracting and annoying. Sometimes you want to have a short conversation without feeling obligated to respond immediately. DM forces brevity in messages, but queues them up to respond to.
DM vs BBM / iMessage.
These clients do have an advantage over the humble DM - read receipts.
But aren’t they super creepy? Don’t they turn us into stalkers? She read it but didn’t reply; what a bitch?!
Like Apple’s upcoming client iMessage and RIM’s BBM, DMs are free, but with Twitter there should hopefully be a hybrid of both sets of friends, there’s no compatibility issues to worry about. Twitter is on both platforms, on iOS and BlackBerry.
Now … could everyone just get Twitter - it’d make my life so much easier.
Kaiser Chiefs attempt at ‘kinecting’ with fans - You are the Producer?
The track selecter, running in Flash, for the band’s create-your-own-album. © Kaiser Chiefs 2011
Today Kaiser Chiefs, successful indie-pop group from Leeds, England, announced their fourth studio album - albeit with a proviso. The digital download isn’t quite ready yet. In fact the album hasn’t actually been finalised. Instead it’s up to the consumer to pick their favourite ten from a selection of twenty tracks. If you like - You are the Producer.
This strategy plays to strengths that today we enjoy greater control of content. There’s too much noise so we use tools to whittle out the unwanted. This is the first Sky+ album. However, we’re actually pretty used to doing this. The playlist (and CD burning) was brought to our attention in 2001 when Apple announced iTunes and launched their ‘Rip, Mix, Burn’ campaign.
So a full ten years later, what outlines The Future is Medieval as a hot idea, a replacement for the ’shop bought’ CD or set-in-stone download? When a user makes an edition of the album, if somebody else buys that copy, the album producer makes £1. In an overhaul of royalty payments, here we’re presented a competitive element to try and select the ‘best’ tracks.
Of those initial twenty tracks around 30-40% wouldn’t have made the album final cut. But hang on - isn’t that where ‘deluxe’ editions have made a market for themselves, providing additional content for hardcore fans? Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, one of the most trailed albums of 2011, premiered four tracks in anticipatory build-up to release (three in quick succession) only to still weigh in with a heavy 17-track offering when published, providing 13 ‘new’ tracks to fans.
In this instance the reverse seems true. From a pool of twenty tracks users are encouraged to weed out the lesser songs; whereas hardcore fans are on a bit of a loser needing to create two £7.50 albums if wanting to legally download the ‘deluxe’ album offering.
It’s early stages for ideas such as these, and probably quite difficult to be the world’s first ‘bespoke’ LP. At the time of writing the album (or playlist) created by Ricky Wilson, the Kaiser’s kaiser, is the most purchased copy of the album, selling 14 copies. The second most popular version comes from drownedinsound, an online music magazine, who have sold 9 copies. If Ricky were to remain top dog it’s hard to see how the royalty structure is so different.
Inconsistency could also be a problem. What happens when fans aren’t able to talk about ‘that track’ on the album? Testament to this is the story of superfan Alex, the ‘lovely chap’ who ‘produced the first ever copy’ of the new album (appearing online with accompanying film). Only problem? Alex didn’t include the Kaiser’s new single which launched just four days earlier.
If when handed the gauntlet we choose not to be the producer, and instead flock to trusted content producers, then surely this idea is one which has not truly been a success. However, if by creating multiple versions of the album fans and mainstream media drive traffic to the Kaiser Chiefs it may turn out this was exactly the marketing hit they needed.